Read “Clean out the Clutter” first
Let me begin this article with a statement that Pastor Mahan has told us about social media. “If you don’t understand it, your teen shouldn’t be using it.”
So, let’s get practical about how to train your teen to use facebook correctly. Remember your child will be using facebook long after they are done living under your roof, so use these tips as an opportunity to sit down with them and train them on the proper use of this social media tool.
Start by having your teen log in and then search for your teen’s name on facebook (write down their username and password). If you find multiple profiles that they own, ask them which one they are going to use and have them delete the additional profile. This eliminates any confusion about what they are doing on facebook. Have your teen log in to their home page and click on “info.” What type of music is your teen listening to? Do you approve of what they have on their profile? Use this as an oportunity to train your teen about discretion and what is and is not appropriate to post on facebook. They might have embarrassing family information posted that is not sinful, but it simply isn’t appropriate and you can use this as an opportunity to discuss verses like Proverbs 1:4 “…to the young man knowledge and discretion.” Discretion: the quality of being discreet, especially with reference to one’s own actions or speech;
Once you look at their profile, click on “Account” => “Edit Friends” in the upper right hand corner. Go through the list of friends one by one (This might take a very long time!). If you don’t know who someone is, ask your teenager about them and then click on their profile to see what kind of things they post. Click on “Info” over to the left and train your teen to identify those with whom they should be connected. Teach your teen that they should have a facebook page that is in order and they should “unfriend” anyone with whom they no longer wish to connect or with whom they really shouldn’t connect (let me clear up a huge misconception about facebook, people are not sent a message when you unfriend them, they just will not be able to view the profile the next time they click on it). If your teen says, “Dad, this kid is having a tough time at school and I’m just trying to be his friend.” that’s great, but now you know about the situation and you can help your teenager understand how to influence this kid without letting the other kid influence your teen.
Final Steps: Now that you have reset their facebook profile to a standard that you are satisfied with and they understand, set a new procedure for your household. No new friend can be accepted without parental approval, no pages can be “liked” and no groups can be “joined”. All they need to do is say, “Hey Mom, Susie wants to be my friend on facebook is that ok?” Lastly, decide that you are going to read every post by your child. All you have to do is make them your friend on facebook and go to their “Wall.” Tip: You can also see everyone who has become their friend, it will say, “Bobby is now friends with Sussie” on their wall. One last tip, go to “Privacy” and make sure that their information is only viewable to their friends, this will stop 99% of the sexual predators out there from connecting with your teen or child.
If your child was doing poorly in math or science, would you make a time to sit down with them and give them help and training? Most teenagers spend as much time if not more time at home on facebook than they do with Math or Science. Social media is an important and major part of their life so take some time to provide them with the help and training they need to have an orderly facebook page and use this process to train them about how with whom to socialize in real life.
Feel free to contact me with any questions altoonayouth@gmail.com
